Sheeeeeeee's Back

So many have emailed or called and asked me to post again so I will. I meant to blog every day during radiation. But I ended up being so tired tired tired., some days I couldn't cook or make the bed. I slept 10 to 11 hours with a nap thrown in sometime during the day. I did feel bad at times that I wasn't staying in touch, then I started getting resentful of the damn thing. Then I realized it was OK. I am going through this the only way I know how. But honestly I would have been to tired should I have had the motivation. OK everyone I hope is cool with me, because I couldn't have gotten through chemo without knowing I had so many friends logging on and wishing me well.
So well Radiation is not at all what I had anticipated. I literally thought some kind of fire breathing hose was going to come at me and brand me or something. But no its much more civilized, three very pert and fun Radiation Therapists come and escort you to room 1, 2 or 3. (They are called therapists because they do a "treatment on you". I asked their title because I would have called them technicians.) They study also for 3 years. I then lie myself down on a bed, my left arm up in the air and snuggled into a arm rest. I'm in a johnny shirt and half of my chest is now exposed. The first one was weird as the therapist was a gorgeous 40 year old male and I have to tell you I felt not bad but uncomfortable. But by the third treatment I was fine with him and oddly enough became more comfortable at home getting dressed and looking in the mirror. (I mean he didn't turn to stone seeing my scar.)
So I'm on the stretcher bed, they set you up, its all physics and these lights come on they are holding what looks like a remote control and there is now a diagram of an excel spreadsheet on my chest and they punch in numbers leave the room and the machine comes on and a red beam is pointed at an area on the chest and that my friends is the radiation. Lasts one minute. Then they come back in and position the machine to do the other side.
Most of my treatments we're done at night. Thankfully as I don't know how I could have gotten out of bed before 10am if I had to go early. The 12.30 treatment times I was actually late for twice.
But this family has now gotten through, Diagnosis, Surgery, Chemo x 6,Hair loss, Surgery (Day), Radiation x15 with one more to go. We got through Frank's melanoma on his leg, Robert my teenage drama King with his jigging, his sometimes and often juvenile behavior. But he is a loving boy and is going to graduate.
I got over the shock of Tiger Woods infidelity, that man broke my heart. Frank got over Jesse James and what he did to Sandra. (We are very loyal)lol....Oh and Kate plus 8 what was that which she called dancing?????
On a heavier not we gave what we could to Haiti and watched all the benefit shows they had for the tragedy.
My hair is growing, a woman actually came up to me in a parking lot, grabbed my arm to stop me and said "OMG I love your hair you look ten years younger"!! OK I didn't know this woman, so I'm thinking ten years younger then what?? How old did she think I was doesn't she know I am a paranoid, schizophrenic when it comes to my hair. I mean did she think I was 60 trying to look 50!!! Nope Sue just can't take it as a compliment. Anyways , I am getting used to it and all who wish to comment please do. I accept all compliments readily.
So my chemo weight. Has to be talked about. Gained 15 lost 8, 7 to go to be the weight I was when I had first surgery. Now who says I have to be that weight??? Now granted I want to get into last summers wardrobe but what if I don't?? I've discovered or learned or lets say finally got it through cancer its whats on the inside not the outside. I spent so much time effort money Saturday nights alone doing sit ups worrying, and trying to get down to a size whatever. What did I think was going to happen if I was a size 4??? Would I suddenly look like a movie star??Would a man suddenly want to ask me out. They're alot of issues surrounding many of us regarding weight. It may be 50 coming up it may be cancer and learning what matters but man I just want to be healthy, do my treadmill, eat the cookie and buy the shoes!!!!