2009 phewwwwwwwwwwwwww

Well a year ago I dreamt of a new house started with wanting a new frig, Frank said no no no I said then how about a new house. He said well maybe a bungalow................ ha I got the house and the first day in I said "OH No" that's not the frig for this house and voila I got a new frig. Dream big girls dream big. I said last year I am tired of this bedroom set..its old and voila I got my four poster bed!!!!
Well I also said a year ago..."Frank for $5000.00 I can have any size breasts you want!!!! Ha I'm getting new ones but ... the surprise was the price I have to pay is breast cancer. You know its not funny and the chemo has been hell but when this is all over with I will have new breasts and hopefully a nice size. Sometimes I say well I'm lucky breast cancer has taken lives, mine was stage 1. But you know Lucky isn't the word, there's no luck just my mountain has been my mountain. Yes lots of people have climbed theres and won, reached the goal line.
I seriously thought two weeks ago that's it I'm telling my Doctors I;m done no more. but I will have the next one and I will get through it. I;ll cry and stamp my feet and do my monthly two year old tantrum but the alternative would be to give up and I can't. Its my Mountain I'll climb it but I;m not climbing it alone. This past year so many friends and family and acquaintances have all stood in my corner loving me and urging me on, how can I stop now. You know I would love to be looking back and to be looking at another type of fall. Planting in my new yard, painting taking pictures a few trips to Montreal with Frank. But I am looking back at this fight, my first walk for the cure, my first exercise class with Breast Cancer Survivors, my first chemo where I cried in the room with the nurse. How my son hit the wall with this, how Frank walked like a zombie for a week,my Mother melting down because I blog and tell the world (to her the world) about my daily thoughts. I love how my older sister Patti stepped up and took me to chemo when Frank was away, calls everyday comes over, we go shopping together to Damascus for coffee. This sister who I thought never got me has been so here for me.
I'm looking back at all the people who care and cared and who are still caring for me. A special lady who nursed her husband when he had cancer, he lost his fight but she prepared me for so much.
But if you look back you go back and I am looking ahead now to 2010 wow I'll be 50 this year, I'll be ending this war and winning it. And best of all I will have the best boobs in town. Happy New Year